How inclusive is your small talk?
Small talk often gets a bad reputation. You might think of the awkward start of a virtual meeting when waiting for others to join or the chit-chat whilst the kettle is boiling.
Some of the discomfort associated with small talk stems from the uncertainty. It can feel hard to engage in conversation when you don’t know how long it’ll last.
There’s also the uncertainty of what you’re supposed to discuss, if you don’t have a lot of rapport with the other person then asking about their personal life might not be well received. At the same time, you don’t want to start speaking about the topics you’ll be covering in the meeting.
Reframing it as an intentional opportunity for establishing positive relationships makes small talk something quite different.
Small talk enables people to build trust and respect. It’s the foundational step in every relationship and in establishing psychological safety within a team. It sets the tone for meetings and is representative of company culture. It’s an opportunity to make everyone feel included and like they belong. And when working remotely, it’s often the only opportunity for ‘water-cooler’ chat between colleagues, which we know is important.
Starting a meeting with inclusive small talk, that safely brings everyone into the conversation, has multiple benefits:
It’s an opportunity for the people who often wouldn’t be heard in meetings (those from historically marginalised communities) to have their voice heard and their input celebrated from the outset. Making it easier to speak up for the remainder.
It’s a chance to build trust and psychological safety within the team, leading to more open, honest conversations and an environment where healthy conflict can take place.
It’s a way of finding common ground and building bonds. Getting to know your colleagues, outside of their work-persona, builds a sense of belonging.
It’s also a chance to celebrate the diversity in the team and increase cultural awareness.
So how can you go about successfully integrating small talk into your meetings? Well you can’t expect people to be comfortable opening up straight away, it’s important for them to feel safe to share with the team. It’s important for leaders to set the tone by first sharing personal insight themselves and showing vulnerability. This encourages others to follow suit.
Remove any uncertainty by facilitating. You could introduce a different question at the start of a weekly meeting. Keep it lighthearted and be intentional about the topic, making it something that includes rather than excludes and considers cultural differences. Avoid topics that may divide (i.e. politics), at least to start with. The topics and approach will be different from team to team, see this as a chance to get creative!
Some ideas to get you started:
Recommend a tv show / podcast / book.
Where would you like to go on holiday?
Do you have any surprising hobbies?
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received?
What are your top three meals?
You may face resistance at first because it’s essentially ‘organised fun’ but push through and you might even find your team looking forward to the small talk! Improved relationships, improve morale and boost innovation and productivity.
Squash use drama to spotlight the reality of bias in the workplace. We use scenarios based on lived experiences to start a dialogue on how to respond and rethink. Find out more here.
