Calling In vs Calling Out
We often hear about people witnessing or experiencing harmful behaviour in the workplace, but being unsure about how to address it. Speaking up could be seen as disrupting the status quo and could harm relationships. However, staying quiet and allowing the behaviour can feel equally uncomfortable.
A way to get comfortable is to reframe it as an opportunity to educate and increase awareness. Ultimately creating a more inclusive environment - even if it just makes one person feel more included, it’s worth doing.
The more you speak up, the easier it gets and the more others feel comfortable in speaking up. It’s a small thing to do but the compound effect can be big
You may have heard of two approaches, Calling In and Calling Out. While both intended to address unwanted behaviours, they are quite different approaches. In this post, we’ll look at the nuances between the two, when you might want to adopt each approach and how you could go about it.
Calling Out: Confrontation in the Public Sphere
"Calling out" involves publically bringing awareness to problematic behavior or language, with the intention of holding individuals or groups accountable. The act of calling out someone can feel confrontational but done with empathy and respect, it can be a powerful tool for sparking conversation, improving inclusion and holding folks accountable.
Calling In: Inviting Dialogue and Education
“Calling in" is a more private approach to addressing harmful behaviour and is often a conversation one to one or in a small group. Calling in prioritises relationship-building, seeking to address problematic behaviors through constructive conversation rather than public confrontation. The act of calling in requires patience, active listening, and a willingness to engage with others in a non-judgmental manner. It aims to create a safe and supportive space for individuals to reflect on their actions or beliefs, learn from their mistakes, and make meaningful changes moving forward.
Open vs closed questions
When calling in behaviour, try asking questions rather than making statements. Asking questions presents an opportunity to help them think about their behaviour, consider why it could be harmful to others and to learn from their mistake. Asking questions is especially powerful when trying to create positive behaviour because they elicits an active response and encourage the person to take ownership of their behaviour.
Open questions are powerful for getting people to think about their actions and behaviours (e.g. “What was your intention then?”) In his latest book, Steven Bartlett also suggests asking a YES / NO question, as people are more likely to respond in a way that aligns with the person they want to be and then take action in that direction. Especially powerful when the facts are on your side.
For instance, in response to a colleague suggesting a female colleague is emotional:
Response A: “That’s just sexist, don’t call her emotional!"
Response B: “It sounded like you called Jen emotional, is that what you meant to say?"
Response B is going to get a very different response, it makes the person consider what they said (and hopefully why) and it removes emotion from the interaction.
Calling Out: How To
Summary:
Publicly addressing an individual or group to challenge and correct harmful behaviour.
When to Call Out:
When the microaggression is blatant or harmful.
To set clear boundaries and assert the importance of respectful behaviour.
When calling in has not resulted in change.
Steps to Call Out:
Remain calm and assertive.
Use open questions to help them consider their behaviour.
Speak about the behaviour/impact not the person
See this as a learning opportunity, suggest alternatives.
Consider how they may respond and how you could handle this.
Examples:
What did you mean by that?
It sounded like you just said _____. Is that what you meant to say?
I don’t find that funny, can you explain?
I wondered if you’ve considered the impact of your words.
Calling In: How To
Summary:
Bringing attention to harmful behaviour or actions in a one-on-one or small group conversation.
When to Call In:
When the individual may be unaware of the impact.
To maintain relationships and open communication channels.
As a first step in addressing less intentional microaggressions.
Steps to Call In:
Choose an appropriate time and place, consider your safety/wellbeing - do you need support from another colleague?
Use open question and practice deep listening to understand the intention
Provide specific examples to illustrate the impact. Things not feelings.
Approach conversation with respect to create open dialogue and understanding.
Help the other person to learn from this, suggest resources/further education.
Examples:
What was your intention when you said…?
How might the other person view the situation?
I understand your point and I’d like us to consider XYZ.
I’m curious how you got to that decision.
By understanding the nuances between calling in and calling out, we can navigate difficult conversations with more empathy and effectiveness, ultimately working towards a more inclusive and equitable workplace.
Squash use drama to spotlight the reality of bias in the workplace. We use scenarios based on lived experiences to start a dialogue on how to respond and rethink. Find out more here.
